my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
