She's JV to your varsity
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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