This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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