It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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