It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
