im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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