I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
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oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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