i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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