trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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