God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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