I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize