tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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