Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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