Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
