You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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