we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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