if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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