We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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