I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize