forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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