Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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