Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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