i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm at about main and main street
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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