I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
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I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
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he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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