didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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