are you still at the devil's house?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize