You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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