it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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