so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
