on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
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i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
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don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
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