I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm too high and old for this...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
