Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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