How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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