I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We need a shit load of segways right now
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
