I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
