she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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