it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I look excited, but its just a facade.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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