i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Everyone says I win the strip club
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
