garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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