What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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