It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
