Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Let's get the cat blown out
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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