Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
