Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon