my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
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Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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