shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.