Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
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I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
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Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.