I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Let's paint friendship bongs
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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