sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW