he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
accomplished twins. life is a go
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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