Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
