Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
