So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
And then my night got REAL pukey
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
