I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
