and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
