I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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