I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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