she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
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Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
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My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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