Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
