i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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