There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
