just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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