Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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