So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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