Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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