I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
