I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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