Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
His hands were made for my vagina.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
